My dear friend Keren and her mom Iris, allowed me the space to listen and observe as we chatted about Venezuelan culture, what it was like assimilating into “white” culture growing up, and the role food now plays in her life as she raises 3 boys in the Chicago suburbs. I so appreciate Keren’s vulnerability and desire to share her story with me. The following is an abbreviated version of our conversation in her kitchen.

Jasmine: What were some of the moments you could pinpoint when you felt different growing up?

Keren: I felt different for a lot of my life. I looked different than everyone including other Latinos. It is challenging to be in a place where you are Latino, but not Mexican because people don’t usually know what you are and they make a lot of assumptions. I was and still am often mistaken for being Indian or Middle Eastern. I got made fun of a ton growing up and I remember one of the first racist things that was ever said to me in middle school. I was sitting with some friends when someone decided that they needed to tell me that I was a “stinky Hindu”. It was challenging growing up in a place where there weren’t more people who looked like you. I found myself making the subconscious decision to assimilate to white culture because I didn’t want to be labeled as something I was not. I found the less I made a big deal about being different, the more I blended in, the better the experience I would have in school and in making friends.

Jasmine: What has that process been like, realizing you tried to be “white” for much of your adolescence?

Keren: It’s been a journey. It’s only been more recently in my adult life that I’ve realized how “white” my high school /middle school experiences were. At times it felt like I was living two lives, my Latina life at home and then my “white” life at school. I think I’ve always struggled to fit in and I worked hard to do so. I even went through a country music phase in high school because that’s what my friends listened to. In college the sorority life appealed to me and not the Latino or Ethnic sororities but the white ones. My desire to fit in has been something I’ve had to wrestle with for years. Only recently have I begun to discover what it really means to be a woman of color, to be Latina, to be Venezuelan and American. This discovery has also come with new experiences, which have included learning how I am treated as a woman of color and how I am treated when I have opinions about race and ethnicity. Even now people SO often tell me that they don’t see me as a woman of color or that they never thought of me as different. The irony of course is that after having spent so many years wanting to blend in, I now I want people to see me for all of who I am, something I wish I would have embraced early on.

Jasmine: What role did food play in the identity you had created for yourself during these formative years? Was that also something you felt you hid from friends or did you share that part of your life openly with others? And if not then, how do you feel about Venezuelan food in the context of your life now, raising your family?

Keren: I don’t feel that food was a very central part of my high school or even college experience. I had Venezuelan food at home but that’s about it. My closest friends would have tried some of our food but other than that it was something that just stayed in our family. Having dated only white men, I knew before I got married that I wanted someone who could sit and eat the food my mom cooked. Thankfully my husband not only eats the food but also embraces my family culture wholeheartedly. It wasn’t until we started having kids that I felt urgency to each them Spanish, to teach them Venezuelan culture and to teach them to like and eat our food! I knew that if I didn’t teach these things to my kids our family culture would die. They would grow up to have zero connection with my family that is still in Venezuela. I know that they will grow up with their own struggles of figuring out how Latino they feel and so for me, it’s important that they know the staples. Someday, Lord willing, we will be able to take our boys to Venezeula to meet my grandparents and extended family and I will feel a sense a pride knowing that they can sit at my grandma’s table and eat what she offers them. I make an effort when I make Venezuelan food to talk about Venezuela with the kids, we pray for the current political situation there and I try to teach them as much as I can about our culture.

There’s a sense of pride that comes when I see them enjoy the food. Since I can’t physically take them to Venezuela right now, sitting at our dining room table with my family and eating a traditional meal is a way for them to get even the smallest connection. I genuinely think that they will continue to enjoy our traditional food and my hope is that they will pass it down to future generations as well.

Recipe for CARNE MECHADA (SHREDDED BEEF)

 Ingredients:

• 1 ½ lbs flank steak
• 1 onion diced
• 1 red bell pepper, diced
• 3-4 cloves of garlic, finely minced
• ½ bunch of cilantro, finely chopped (you may substitute for parsley if necessary)
• 2 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce
• ½ tsp cumin
• Salt and pepper to taste
• 1-2 Tbsp olive oil
• 1-2 “ají dulce” (if available), finely chopped

Preparation:

1. Place the beef in a crockpot on High for 3 hours. When done, take out (reserve liquids), let cool a little and shred.
2. Place a cast iron skillet on medium heat. Heat the olive oil, and add the onion and garlic. Sautée for 1-2 minutes.
3. Then add the red bell pepper, cilantro and ají dulce (if available). Sautée for 1-2 more minutes.
4. Add the shredded beef, Worcestershire sauce, cumin, salt and pepper. You may add some of the liquids from the crockpot.
5. Keep cooking at medium heat until liquids are reduced and beef if somewhat dry.
6. This shredded beef is always served with fried ripe plantains and white rice. The whole dish is called Pabellón Criollo, a national dish of Venezuela.